Friday, August 2, 2013

Fickle Feelings

I took my daughter, Emma to her University today so that she could open a bank account.  I was really looking forward to the trip.  The three Lairson girls were heading out for an adventure!  I planned to have the windows down and the music loud so that we could sing at the top of our lungs, which is something that we typically love to do. 
We left a little late, but I was not worried.  I rolled down the windows and cranked up the tunes.  Emma put in her ear buds and started reading a book.  I pulled her ear buds out five or six times until she finally realized I wasn't going to leave her alone.  :)  FINALLY, we were singing and enjoying each others company.  :)  It was a great ride.
I am so happy for Emma and her looming independence, but I am SO SAD.  I have three children and a family of five.  I love my family of five.  I lived for having children and I don't want it to end!  I know that she is not leaving our family, but she IS leaving our home and I had no idea how much this would HURT!  I'm not just sad about Emma leaving.  I am sad that I won't get to witness my three children interacting with each other.  They can be so goofy and fun.  They make me smile and fill my heart until it is almost bursting. 
I know that we will still have fun, but nothing will ever be the same.  So my happy/sad/excited/scared feelings will continue to roll, I am sure...  Children growing up is so exciting, but the separation is so difficult. 
My friends assure me that it gets easier.  Thank goodness I am surrounded by wonderful women with waiting arms for the hugs that I need and the words of wisdom from their own experiences...

1 comment:

  1. Debbie~ I so feel you PAIN!. I also thought Lexi moving IN to school would change our lives forever, I mourned just as you are. But this summer has shown me that even though Lexi has grownup (when needed) she can still be the same big sister and mama's girl when needed. As a matter of fact, Lexi has BECOME an even better sister! She has more patience and acceptance of the differences and feelings of her sister, something that was lacking before college. They have discovered more common interest, she has invited her sister to go with her and her friends, and has just been nicer all around. I have heard more laughter between the two this summer than I would have in a years time before college!
    Think of it as Emma moving IN (not out) and then just imagine what a richer fuller Emma she will become and how she will share this new dynamic with all of you!
    LOVE & HUGS!