Friday, August 2, 2013

Fickle Feelings

I took my daughter, Emma to her University today so that she could open a bank account.  I was really looking forward to the trip.  The three Lairson girls were heading out for an adventure!  I planned to have the windows down and the music loud so that we could sing at the top of our lungs, which is something that we typically love to do. 
We left a little late, but I was not worried.  I rolled down the windows and cranked up the tunes.  Emma put in her ear buds and started reading a book.  I pulled her ear buds out five or six times until she finally realized I wasn't going to leave her alone.  :)  FINALLY, we were singing and enjoying each others company.  :)  It was a great ride.
I am so happy for Emma and her looming independence, but I am SO SAD.  I have three children and a family of five.  I love my family of five.  I lived for having children and I don't want it to end!  I know that she is not leaving our family, but she IS leaving our home and I had no idea how much this would HURT!  I'm not just sad about Emma leaving.  I am sad that I won't get to witness my three children interacting with each other.  They can be so goofy and fun.  They make me smile and fill my heart until it is almost bursting. 
I know that we will still have fun, but nothing will ever be the same.  So my happy/sad/excited/scared feelings will continue to roll, I am sure...  Children growing up is so exciting, but the separation is so difficult. 
My friends assure me that it gets easier.  Thank goodness I am surrounded by wonderful women with waiting arms for the hugs that I need and the words of wisdom from their own experiences...